Snow-Mageddon 2010

We're buried under almost 30" of snow right now. Heavy, wet snow that looks beautiful hanging from the tree branches and sweeping across the yard, but that sounds like an avalanche as it slides off the roof and collides with the already 5-foot tall snow banks surrounding the house. The weight of the snow has brought branches and trees crashing down, causing power outages across the D.C. region. We've thankfully not lost power (yet), but it's never out of the question.

And now, there's another storm barreling in as I type, promising to dump another 10-20" on the ground.

Holy snowfall, Batman.

Conrad is blaming me, because I had been wishing for a more "New-England-y" winter than what we usually have. But if we get another 20" of snow on top of the 30" we have, this will officially be the most snow I've ever seen on the ground, not at a ski mountain. This is NOT what I meant when I said I wanted a New England winter. This is ARCTIC!

But, what are you gonna do? We make the most of it--I have a fully stocked pantry, laundry done and snow clothes dried out on the rack by the back door, plenty of batteries, candles, and matches JUST IN CASE, tons of hot cocoa in the cabinet, and this afternoon I'll bake cookies and Irish bread so we have them ready if the power does go out.

And you know what? As long as I get to see this when it snows?

I can take another storm.

She's Baaaa-aaack

I'm still here.

Nothing drastic happened. No one was (seriously) ill, no one died, nothing happened.

I just stepped back. I am glad, too. It's good to take a breather.
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I'm back though, because I realized that this is the only way I am going to ever be able to remember what we were doing in 2010. My memory is shot, so if I don't write it down, I will forget how Esau chattered non-stop throughout the entire month of January and started making sentences, and had the world's CUTEST intonation when he said "yeeeaAH!" in response to any questions.

I will forget that Deuteronomy hit one of his most trying phases to date, how he flung himself down in angry tears at the drop of a hat, how he scrunched up his face and crossed his arms and put his head down when he got mad. We have instituted a ticket system based on some advice in one of Rosemond's books. When Deuteronomy does one of three unacceptable behaviors (being rough, having a tantrum, or refusing to do as he's told), he loses a ticket. He gets 5 tickets a day. If he loses them all, he goes to bed. Right then. No matter what time of day it is. He's spent a few afternoons and evenings alone in his room. The issue is that we get lazy and inconsistent in applying the rules, and so he's continued to test us for weeks. We're buckling down though. We'll see how it goes...and as much as I don't want to wish the kids older, I won't be sad when he outgrows this phase.

Sunshine is Sunshine. Contrary and fickle. She is happiness personified one minute, sweet and kind and helpful to her brothers and to me. And with the flip of a switch she is a raving screeching banshee. It's awesome. But it's fairly easily traced to being overtired, so we're getting better at nipping that insane behavior in the bud.

#4 is kicking away in my big, fat belly. He should be here in 10 weeks, holy crap. I am eager to meet him. I'm trying to enjoy this pregnancy, because it will be my last. I don't want to do this again, even though I would be okay with having more kids. I just can't take the discomfort and don't want to put my body through it anymore. After April, my body is mine again. And dammit, I will get it into fighting form. With little #4 in the Moby wrap if necessary.
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We are in the midst of one of the biggest snowstorms to ever hit the DC region right now. People are INSANE, I tell you. INSANE over the snow. I was the 12th person in line at the register at Wegmans yesterday morning. All 25+ registers were open, and they all had lines that long. I saw one woman buying 4 gallons of milk. For, like, one weekend of being house-bound. It's not like the snow will NEVER go away.

They are predicting up to 28" in my area, with the potential for more in random areas. It's almost like being in New England again. Truth be told, I love this.
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I am also nesting like no tomorrow. Oh, the plans I have for this house. We're finishing the basement now, all the lumber is stacked down there, ready to be put to use framing the walls. Conrad wants it done by the time #4 gets here. I would be happy if it were done by Fall.

In the meantime, I am taking on all kinds of little projects that I've been meaning to do forever. Although I suck at taking pictures, I think I'll be posting about the little changes in order to have a record. I am a complete sucker for a good before-and-after.

And since I know we're not moving back to Boston anytime in the near future (even though I would go with a moment's notice), I figure I need to stop thinking of this home as potentially temporary and bloom where I've been planted. I do love it here. So here is HOME. Here we'll stay, indefinitely. And so I will make this house and this area my home. One project at a time.

It's good to be back.

Looking Back, Looking Ahead

We had a wonderful Christmas here, with just the right amount of calm and chaos.

Today, the tree comes down and I will find a way to put away all the new stuff. I will rearrange the furniture and reorganize the toy room, clean up the pine needles and put away the lights. And start the new year with a clean slate.

Tonight we celebrate another year of happiness and health, and look forward to exciting moments in 2010. This coming year, we will welcome another little boy into our family and another little nephew, too.

Looking ahead, my biggest hope is that I can learn from my mistakes and successes of the past, that I will try to live in the moment and enjoy each day, and that I can remain calm and remember how lucky I am.

Happy New Year!

Consequences

Conrad and I are mean parents. But, I hope, I think, in a good way.

Sunshine has quite a temper. I know she comes from a long line of very nasty tempers, and I know I am part of that line. And though Conrad has a long fuse, when you finally reach the end of his rope, watch out. Take cover. And cower.

In recent weeks, however, Sunshine somehow decided that it was okay to unleash her anger on Conrad and I when she's displeased about a decision we've made. While we were visiting my family, she had not one, not two, but three complete meltdowns that included screaming, kicking, hitting, and declaring her hatred of her family and that we were ruining her life. What set off these episodes? Perhaps she was told she could not play on the computer, or that she had to nap since she'd been up till 11PM the night before and was cranky and nasty, or something equally unjust and cruel.

Regardless of the catalyst, she lost her mind several times that week.

While traveling, we dealt with these temper tantrums as best we could, isolating her in the bedroom and ignoring her until she cooled off and did what she was told.

Then last week, she had another tantrum when she was told that while her brothers napped, she would need to have quiet time in her room. She didn't have to actually sleep, mind you, but she had to rest quietly in her room and could read or do something equally low-key.

She lost it, screaming and hissing and when I picked her up to carry her upstairs, she kicked me. She was aiming for my belly, but thankfully she missed.

Sunshine is not a violent or angry person. She is generally sweet and helpful and funny and pleasant to be around. But when she goes over the edge, she really goes all the way.

I will be honest, a few months ago, I would have been at a total loss as to what to do in response. I would have looked for reasons WHY she was reacting the way she did and tried to reason with her and help her see the error of her ways. But I don't do that anymore.

Once, a long time ago, I posted something about an issue we were having with one of the kids, and Mary Alice from From the Frontlines recommended I read John Rosemond's parenting books.

It took me months to get to it, but once I read one of his books, it was like something clicked in my head and I saw things we'd been doing with the kids discipline-wise that now seem JUST RIDICULOUS. Rosemond recommends common sense parenting, maybe appropriately called "vintage" parenting. I've read several of his books now, and Conrad has too, and we've really changed our tack when it comes to the kids. I haven't ever properly thanked Mary Alice, though I will make amends and thank her now.

I am not exaggerating when I say that the Rosemond books changed our thinking about the kids completely. But I also think the books actually allowed us to be the parents we WANTED to be, without feeling guilty or conflicted. Because kids need discipline. And they need to learn that bad behavior has consequences. And too often, Conrad and I were not teaching them that lesson.

So when Sunshine flipped out, the consequences were pretty harsh. She is 5 years old. Temper tantrums are no longer acceptable. And it's past time she learned to do what she's told.

Because of her insanely defiant, disrespectful, and unacceptable behavior, she spent all of Sunday in her room, from about 12:30, when she lost her mind, until dinner time. She came down for dinner, then went back to her room until she was put to bed an hour early. And every single day that week, after she came home from school and had a snack, she went to her room. And stayed there until dinner. She was put to bed an hour early on Monday night, and she flipped out over it. So she earned an early bedtime on Tuesday as well. Each night she had a tantrum over going to bed early, she earned another night of it. It was Thursday before she went to bed calmly.

On Friday evening after dinner, her punishment was lifted. She's been reasonably well-behaved since then. I can see she'll be testing us again though. The kid has spunk. I'm glad she does, too. I just have to help her learn where to direct it.

So Conrad and I are mean. But dammit, our kids will be well-behaved. And they will learn that their bad behavior has consequences that will make their lives miserable. And, hopefully, they will grow up to be adults who take responsibility for their behavior, know right from wrong, and make me proud.